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Welcome to 2022
Jan. 14th, 2022 03:03 pmMy goal in 2022 was to journal again after years of being away from it. I had a LiveJournal for years but eventually life got away from me. I want to journal this year as an outlet for my feelings about work, life, etc. It may be a very boring journal. I'm already 14 days late in getting started but trying to go with flow of starting from wherever I am.
So where am I? When I had my LJ I had a fandom that was driving me. An obsession is a better word. Thankfully, that obsession has faded with time. I was an Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter superfan. Even wrote some fanfiction. Stalked Laurell K. Hamilton to signings around the country. Redecorated my house in leopard print. It was one of the great periods of my life. And I made wonderful fandom friends. But it is difficult to keep up that level of momentum. I still read the books, though I am years behind. But I am not active in the fandom.
I hit a new obsession about the same time I hit a major depressive period in my life. I got really turned onto Smallville, particularly the relationship between Clark and Lex and their relationship in the first seasons. This was before the AO3 archive really got going. I can tell you I singlehandedly brought down the servers that were responsible for most of the CLEX fanfiction before it was ported over to AO3. They didn't have enough bandwidth and since I wasn't sleeping for days on end, I was reading fanfiction to the exclusion of all else. Not my best time of life but I read some really good stories.
I would say that that obsession has faded after a decade but it is still my goto fanfiction when I want some feelgood reading.
I have a new obsession these days. Superman & Lois. While I much prefer the MCU to the DCU, S&L is a great family show and gives me all the feels. There isn't a lot of great fanfic yet. Mostly written by people who are desperate for an editor. I'm debating about volunteering.
I'm on my third career. Two years into being a bedside nurse for a large hospital in Orlando, FL. I'm an oncology nurse. I love my patients, they are spectacular people and surprisingly upbeat considering their diagnoses. I am on the medical oncology floor but am spending January on the Bone Marrow Transplant floor. (At least in theory. I am on my 6th day on the fioor. 2 of those days I've been floated either to surgical oncology or back to my own floor because they were desperate for a chemotherapy-certified nurse. Somehow, I am not sure I am getting the point of the one month transfer.)
Even after two years I don't know if I like my job. I am not sure if "like" is the verb I would choose. It is rewarding. I know I am doing a lot more good than I did as a compliance banker at the end. (In the beginning of my career in compliance I did a lot of good and it was very rewarding.) But being a bedside nurse, particularly during COVID, all that I have ever known, is tough. We face staff shortages every day; we're weary, burnt out, and resentful of entitled patients who forget they are in a hospital not a hotel. I'd still rather work with children but I have a little more to learn where I am.
I've been in Orlando for more than 2 years now. It's an interesting place to be if you like Disney. If you don't there is still a lot to do but you have to look harder to find it. I am not as enamored of Disney as I used to be. I don't like crowds and I don't have patience to wait in a line for more than an hour for a ride. I have struggled to make friends here, which isn't surprising. It's harder to meet people anywhere who want new friends once you get to a certain age. But I am trying to put myself out there. It hard when you are a natural introvert.
For now this journal is going to be mostly public. If anyone reads it and has questions, just ask.
So where am I? When I had my LJ I had a fandom that was driving me. An obsession is a better word. Thankfully, that obsession has faded with time. I was an Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter superfan. Even wrote some fanfiction. Stalked Laurell K. Hamilton to signings around the country. Redecorated my house in leopard print. It was one of the great periods of my life. And I made wonderful fandom friends. But it is difficult to keep up that level of momentum. I still read the books, though I am years behind. But I am not active in the fandom.
I hit a new obsession about the same time I hit a major depressive period in my life. I got really turned onto Smallville, particularly the relationship between Clark and Lex and their relationship in the first seasons. This was before the AO3 archive really got going. I can tell you I singlehandedly brought down the servers that were responsible for most of the CLEX fanfiction before it was ported over to AO3. They didn't have enough bandwidth and since I wasn't sleeping for days on end, I was reading fanfiction to the exclusion of all else. Not my best time of life but I read some really good stories.
I would say that that obsession has faded after a decade but it is still my goto fanfiction when I want some feelgood reading.
I have a new obsession these days. Superman & Lois. While I much prefer the MCU to the DCU, S&L is a great family show and gives me all the feels. There isn't a lot of great fanfic yet. Mostly written by people who are desperate for an editor. I'm debating about volunteering.
I'm on my third career. Two years into being a bedside nurse for a large hospital in Orlando, FL. I'm an oncology nurse. I love my patients, they are spectacular people and surprisingly upbeat considering their diagnoses. I am on the medical oncology floor but am spending January on the Bone Marrow Transplant floor. (At least in theory. I am on my 6th day on the fioor. 2 of those days I've been floated either to surgical oncology or back to my own floor because they were desperate for a chemotherapy-certified nurse. Somehow, I am not sure I am getting the point of the one month transfer.)
Even after two years I don't know if I like my job. I am not sure if "like" is the verb I would choose. It is rewarding. I know I am doing a lot more good than I did as a compliance banker at the end. (In the beginning of my career in compliance I did a lot of good and it was very rewarding.) But being a bedside nurse, particularly during COVID, all that I have ever known, is tough. We face staff shortages every day; we're weary, burnt out, and resentful of entitled patients who forget they are in a hospital not a hotel. I'd still rather work with children but I have a little more to learn where I am.
I've been in Orlando for more than 2 years now. It's an interesting place to be if you like Disney. If you don't there is still a lot to do but you have to look harder to find it. I am not as enamored of Disney as I used to be. I don't like crowds and I don't have patience to wait in a line for more than an hour for a ride. I have struggled to make friends here, which isn't surprising. It's harder to meet people anywhere who want new friends once you get to a certain age. But I am trying to put myself out there. It hard when you are a natural introvert.
For now this journal is going to be mostly public. If anyone reads it and has questions, just ask.
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